Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Please help a Poor Widow!

It used to be that when I got those e-mails from Africa foretelling of all the riches I would acquire if only I sent someone a large chunk of money I would just delete them. Because obviously they were scams, right? Apparently not. I guess these so called scams have been given the thumbs up approval by Baker Hostetler estate attorneys. Therefore, after receiving the following e-mail the other day I felt the need to start rounding up clients and modelers to invest. How can we let two huge warehouses of modeling stuff be held hostage? Anyone want to invest? Heck, the deal is so good, I'd put in my own money...if only I hadn't blown it on all plastic.
Date: 1 April, 2010 8:05:56am
Subject: Mr. Frank Linverden
From: Mrs Bridget Linverden

Dear Friend,

This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the modeling world in particular. I am Mrs. Bridget Linverden, the wife of famed preshader Frank Linverden, who died recently in Carrollton, Texas. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration, and hopelessness by the present leadership of IPMS, Hasegawa, Squadron, and Hyperscale. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the hobby at the moment.

You must have heard the media reports and over the Internet about the discovery of two huge warehouses of kits and accessories in my name of which I have refused to give up to the corrupt modeling retailers. In fact the total street value of the kits, books, and accessories allegedly discovered by Brett Orange, Bruce Beamish, Damien Claus, and Mr. Squadron exceeds the tune of about $15.3 Million Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life! As you know, the modeling community has little regards for woman, hence my desire for assistance.

You can visit the Scale Testors Workshop News Broadcasts or these web site forums below for a better understanding of what I am talking about:

http:www.hyperscale.com/bf109sforlife.html
http:www.aircraftresourcecenter.com/f16srule.html
http:www.britmodeler/teacrumpetsandtwoLs.html

I deposited the keys to these warehouses with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive these keys and hold them. Additionally, would you e-bay these modeling products and hold the funds for me? I only require that you provide a $100,000 bond to secure our arrangement. What a deal! This arrangement is known to you and my personal Attorney Robert Steel, Esq, and Counselor at Law. He might be dealing with you directly for security reasons as the case may be.

In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will be willing to negotiate on your percentage share of the proceeds of sale and I will give you a first right of refusal of any of the kits, and accessories to build and enjoy.

Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more kits in your care as this is one of the few legacies we keep for our children. However, you must LOVE this hobby.

In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence.

I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please include your e-mail, bank account routing number, and web forum “handle” to expedite action.

Yours sincerely,

Mrs. Bridget Linverden

2 comments:

knights said...

Jim,

You left out the part where the funds need to be sent to the poor widow care of her attorney, David M. Knights, Louisville, KY (Soon to be Ocho Rios, Jamaica)

Martin Keenan said...

All checks or money orders payable to:

Jim's Early Retirement fund
c/o Drawer 20C
Cayman Trustco (2008) PLC
101 Shady Alley
Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands